Ian and Toni's Story

• Fostering Stories

We started fostering in 2006. One of our relatives had been fostering for more than 15 years and we had seen the difference she had made in so many children’s lives. We didn’t have children of our own and thought we could offer a child a loving and caring home and that’s how our journey began.

What difference has fostering made to your life?

It's expanded our lives, our family and our friends. After 18 years of fostering, we still find it as exciting as the day we met our first young person. We have fostered 15 children since. We have fostered siblings and all age groups - some children stayed as short as 2 nights and others as long as 7 years. It’s amazing the progress the children can make in a short space of time, once they are in a caring and stable environment.

We keep in touch with most of the children we have cared for and offer our support and advice when they need it. Although fostering can be very rewarding it can also be equally challenging.

What has been your proudest moment?

We have been part of some great successes. Some of our children have gone on to university and one works in a children’s residential home and is fostering his sibling. Many of the children have been able to return home and this is the best feeling ever.

What was your work situation?

When we first started fostering, we were both working at the time. My wife went part-time as the children were in school so she could take them to school and go and pick them up.

She was made redundant so after that it was just easy for her not to get another job. I work full time but it's just like having your own family, somebody works, maybe both of you work, but just you manage.

What advice would you give to anyone thinking of fostering?

It's patience more than anything. Even after 18 years we still experience behaviours we haven't before.  

Every child needs patience, love and support. 

You just take each day as it comes and see what the best way is to help that child settle, because they're all different. Some children need a lot more support and others are quite independent. Sometimes you may have to tiptoe round just because of maybe the background the child has come from, until they get used to your household and then you can sort of slot back into normality.

What would you say have been the biggest challenges?

There are different challenges, sometimes you get children who are five or six and they don't know to clean or toilet themselves.  Also, children can return from contact with their family feeling unsettled.  They might be confused, as they have that loyalty to their parents, and this can cause behaviours or just generally upset them.